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Hello, my name is Bill
Matlock.
I was born in Cape
Girardeau, Missouri and raised outside a small town in
Illinois called McClure. My parents were poor and
struggled in the early years but always seemed to manage
to give me, my brother and sister what we needed.
Through good and bad times, no matter what we knew we
were loved.
Let’s skip ahead a few
years…. Around 10 or 12 I started working for local
farmers in their fields through the summer, I have
worked pretty much since then. I graduated in
1983….this is where it all started.
I started running with
some shady characters. Drinking, doing drugs and
selling drugs. I turned into the type of person that,
well, let’s say I f you needed something done, for
enough money I could make it happen.
I was married for the
first time in 1993. Accidentally put a .45 caliber
bullet through my left leg between the femur and femoral
artery in 1998. The bullet was a black talon which is
specifically made to open and rip and tear its way
through for maximum damage – well it didn’t. My guess
is there was a higher power involved. I was divorced in
2001 – due to drug involvement. I hurt many people in
these years. The bad thing is I didn’t really care. I
was cut a couple times pretty bad. Through it all I’ve
only had 3 stitches and zero broken bones – How is that
for blessed!
In 2003 a 17 year old
boy whom I had been a part of his life from the day he
was born was killed in an accident. I was so angry the
day we buried him that I renounced God, later that
evening I drunk a few beers, did some Meth, made a noose
and hung myself. This is where it gets interesting. I
was dead. Since I did it myself, there was no light,
only dark. I was still in the same place but it was a
dark place. There were four shadow creatures that
breathed fire and had razor sharp claws. I had the
flesh burned from my arm all the way to the bone, It was
extremely painful, when they stopped, so did the pain
and my flesh was back. My side was ripped open, again,
extreme pain---then back to normal again. Where I was,
I was making deep guttural sounds, kind of like a wolf
caught in a trap…chewing its own leg off to be free.
Well, back in this plane of existence Tonya and a friend
had cut me down and guess what? Tonya said I was making
the same noise when they bought me back.
Then paramedics and
police showed up. While still unconscious, I beat up 4
officers for 45 minutes. Before I was subdued they used
4 cans of mace on me. Once at the hospital, I thought
it had been about 45 minutes, when in reality it had
been 4-5 hours.
There was no brain
damage or anything…just a few cuts and bruises. I
carried a scar around my neck for a couple of years as a
reminder…it has gone now.
If you were to ask me if
there is a heaven or hell, my answer would be YES! And
one is very dark and painful. Now in doing this you
wouldn’t believe the people that I hurt. People I
hadn’t spoken to in many years called me up hurt and
angry that I didn’t reach out to them.
You would be amazed at
how many people your life affects. Tonya and I were
married in 2003. I love her with all my heart—If not
for her I wouldn’t be here. So this is what has made me
who I am today. My life, well it’s in progress. If
this story helps only one person then it was worth
telling.
Mom and dad I love you!
To those I hurt, I’m
sorry!
Thank you for listening
and God bless,
Bill Matlock
If any of you ever think
of hurting yourself or suicide please call me, maybe I
can help you make the right choice before it’s too late.
Call (573) 264-3048 and ask for Bill!
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